What Are Some Tips for Informing Your Kids About Your Divorce?
Getting a divorce is a tough time for kids. Telling your children you are getting a divorce is one of the hardest things you will have to do as a parent. Your approach will make all the difference. Here are some tips to help you when you inform your children of your impending divorce:
When Is the Best Time to Tell the Kids?
When you are absolutely certain you will be getting a divorce, you and your spouse need to sit your children down and tell them. If you both are not able to effectively sit down together after you make this decision or you are too upset with each other, allow a cooling-off period of a few days to break the news. However, you should not tell anyone else before you tell your children. The last thing you want is for your children to hear the news through someone else.
What Do You Say?
As you speak to the kids about your divorce plans, you should first consider the ages and understanding of your children. No matter what age, however, you should speak calmly and choose your words thoughtfully. The goal is for your children to feel reassured that they had nothing to do with the cause of your divorce.
Although you want to be truthful with your children about your divorce, you should not be overly detailed. They do not need to know the sad or unhappy details that led to your divorce. You can simply say you have made a decision to end your marriage and provide some very basic reasons if you feel comfortable doing so.
You can tell your children your own feelings about the divorce, but you should try to hold yourself together emotionally as much as possible this can be upsetting for children. It may also make them feel like they have to take a side.
What Details Should You Provide?
Although you need to be discreet about the details of your divorce, you do need to provide them with some information. For instance, you need to tell them how your housing situation will change and what that means for them. Whether you are all moving or just one of you is moving, any new living arrangements are one of the biggest questions and concerns your kids will likely have. They will also want to know how often they will see each of you and how long. Additionally, they will likely want to know how their daily lives will change regarding their extracurricular activities.
Ultimately, be upfront but careful and thoughtful as you tell your children about your divorce. For more help and support, contact child custody attorneys like Kenneth J. Molnar.